I have given advise to a lot of women on what to pack into their hospital bag for their baby and for themselves. It wasn’t such a long list, but there were quite a few things on it. One mainly prepares a bunch of things for the baby. When our first baby is born, most of us pay meticulous attention to include at least 5 pieces of body and rompers in two different sizes, because we haven’t got the slightest idea, how many in fact we will need. Plus add gloves, a cap, a blanket, tights for later, T-shirts, and I could go on. And these were only the clothes. The baby hasn’t been bathed, fed, hasn’t pooped or peed a single time. Baby wipes, cream, nappies, cotton buds…

I’m not the least surprised about the fact, that most expecting mothers sweat over this issue the most. But then you have to take the little one home. Should you swaddle her, or use a pram? Or maybe a car seat? But in this case, actually, a combined pram would be more practical, since the car seat can be fastened onto it.

Sound familiar? The list can go on forever, enumerating all the essentials. What will happen ts the baby at home? Where is she going to sleep? A bed, a breathing sensor are also needed… My husband was bewildered by the amount of stuff that I bought from online stores. Months passed before I admitted to him that nothing was necessary from all the things we bought for the baby’s arrival.

When we decided that we would like to have another baby, we thought over right away, what we need to buy. Then we smiled at each other, and asked both at once with reassurance: What if we sold everything?” We agreed, that we would buy three new slings before the baby arrives, so that we always have a clean one. There is time ahead for dressing him up, or putting him sometimes down to play.

Therefore, all the useless, never-used gadgets were put up for sale. We sold our super expensive, hardly used pram, too, since I wrapped my son into a Liliputi stretchy wrap, when he was only a few days old, and I only unwrapped him when our soft baby carrier arrived. Nowadays, we use more types of carriers and wraps. When he is cuddly, I choose front carry, when he is sleepy, I put him on my back. Hip carry is also ideal, because he likes to helps me cook. What is more, in my work as an adviser, it is of utmost importance, that I have a “demo baby”, who tells me exactly, whether the sling is properly tied under his little bum, and he is comfortable in the wrap.

I re-evaluated a lot of things since I have been carrying my son. It is certain, that today my bag would be full of stretchy wraps only, in a kind of AP-style. (AP = attachment parenting)

So my new trousseau advice is the following:

For the baby:

• 4-5 pieces of stretchy wraps
• a few TETRA cotton nappies
• mattress protection
• disposable nappy changing mats
• 2-3 little blankets
• crib bed rail or a crib to be fixed to the double bed
• prescribed vitamins
• cream bath – only for a few weeks old baby
• a bowl or a high potty, maybe an Asian potty
• small textile nappies

For mom:

• front buttoned clothes, and cardigans for cool weather
• a mama coat for winter
• naturally, we have to include the sanitary towels and underwear necessary during the first few weeks
• perfume free shampoo, perhaps an olive oil and tea tree oil soap

You may feel that the list is incomplete. No, I haven’t forgotten. Indeed, I didn’t put down either nappies or clothes for the baby. And nursing bra is missing, too. No gadgets – even new furniture is unnecessary.

I imagine, that our second baby will be born at home. Or at least, in a hospital, where the little one is not taken away from me after birth to be bathed, and we can stay together for the whole time. But this is another topic. The most important thing is, that I put him instantly onto my breast, and when the umbilical cord can be cut, I put him into a wrap immediately. Naked. And we stay like that for weeks. It will be a challenge with a second child, as we have many programs with my son, but I hope, that a few family members can help out for a couple of weeks.

Did it occur to you now, that it is all very nice, but impossible to carry out? Maybe, you are right, but I found moms of four and six, who told me proudly, how they went trough with it, and how fantastic it was.

I promise, I won’t pique your curiosity about the nappies any longer. I’ll tell you what my plan is. I thought, we won’t use nappies. Not a single piece. Never ever. The first couple of weeks are enough to grow familiar to each other and to get to know each other with my baby. This way we will recognize the signs the baby gives us, when he wants to go to the loo. People get their children used to nappies, they are not born in them. Then they usually try to get them give nappies up through a long process.

I decided that I will skip this part this time.

I am only going to recline upon my newborn. Babywearing is essential for this, as I have to be with him all the time to feel how he fidgets, so I can react to every little movement, every twitch. This topic has a whole literature, there are several websites and blogs to be found under “elimination communication” (EC.) A lot of moms write about it, often including photos, showing how it works in practice.

But how do you actually do it? Your baby gives a sign, and you hold her above the potty, toilet or washing basin, maybe unwrapping only her little bum from the carrier. Then you wipe her, and she can nestle up to you again. During the process, you can say the word “pee”, and in a couple of weeks, you can be sure, when you hold her above the potty and say the magic word, you will hear the gurgling. You should carefully support your newborn’s head, but carried babies’ muscles usually get strong enough, and their sense of balance is also very advanced compared to other babies.

What are the advantages?

• attachment becomes unbelievably strong between parent and child
• the infant will be more confident as a child
• the little one is able to get to know her own body and sexuality without inhibitions and fears
• carrying the baby skin-to-skin, on the mother’s naked breasts and body is almost a biological need for most babies
• it is healthier and more hygienic than wearing nappies, as the infant’s skin barely is in contact with urine or defecation
• daddy can carry the little one, too – providing skin-to-skin contact, – and has the chance to learn the baby’s personality, as he needs to pay attention to every little nuance, if he want’s to avoid “accidents”
• mom and baby is able to get to know each other to such a degree, that helps to ease the communication problems of the terrible twos, or even to avoid them
• it’s entirely environmentally friendly
• it’s natural
• it’s established custom in several cultures
• it’s almost free

What are the disadvantages?

• sometimes accidents happen
• more stretchy wraps are necessary, so that you always have a clean one at hand

There are more advantages surely. What do you think they are? Please write to me, if you think of any, that you can give to this list. Or are there any more disadvantages, and am I a bit biased?

About The Author: Mariann Hornyak

Mariann Hornyák is mother of Ben and wife to Endre. She lives in the East Midlands in the UK but her babywearing journey started in Hungary, when the little boy was born in 2012. She discovered ways of carrying babies when she worked in Africa in 2010. The simplicity and the way how the children are involved with everything around the family amazed her and she was certain this is how naturally she wants to bond with her own baby. She learnt about slings from babywearing friends who all recommended the Liliputi stretchy wrap as a first wrap with a new baby. This is how Mariann has fallen in love with the Liliputi style. She has explored a little bit further and she tried and used about houndred different baby slings and carriers in the past few years. She has great connection with several wrap manufacturers and carrier makers so she can share information, updates and news from first hand. Mariann launched her own business in April 2013 after realizing that she almost works full time as a volunteer babywearing consultant, however, she completed the course of Babywearing Consultant by Slingababy and also accredited to level 3 by School of Babywearing. Beside running the Baby in Sling Babywearing Consultancy, Mariann writes articles in Hungarian and in English to help mothers find their inner voice, to show parents more options and to give them tools to parent in the way how they really want. She facilitates an attachment parenting group with regular meetings and events, the group is affiliated with the Attachment Parenting UK and has about 170 members. In her previous life Mariann worked for the Food and Agriculture Organisation of the United Nations and also had experience in the for-profit sector. She is educated to Master Degree level, her first degree is International Relation, Foreign Affairs and Security Policy, her MSc is International Economics. She started to prepare for her PhD in Counter Terrorism when she got sidetracked by her new baby. Ben is now 2 years old and he really wants to go to nursery. His chosen place is on a farm in the middle of a forest, so this might mean that Mariann will return to work full time. But she will always remain an author, a writer and a sling consultant for anyone who needs reassurance and some support.